There’s a running joke on my social media that my biggest life flex is not marrying a loser.
It usually shows up under a photo of my husband with our kids. Sometimes it’s half-serious, sometimes it’s deeply sarcastic, sometimes it’s me being a little spicy for the algorithm. But underneath the humor is something I believe with my whole chest:
Choosing your life partner — the person you build your home with, the person you have babies with, the person you navigate chaos with — is one of the most important decisions you will ever make.
You can leave a job.
You can shut down a business.
You can pivot a product.
You can rebrand an entire company.
But the person you create children with?
That choice echoes through your entire life.
And here’s the part most people don’t talk about:
Choosing the right people in business is the closest thing to that level of importance.
Not because it’s irreversible.
But because the wrong people can quietly destroy everything you’re trying to build.
The Personal Part (Just Enough to Matter)
My husband is the quintessential millennial dad.
Our parenting relationship is about as close to 50/50 as I think is humanly possible. I still run logistics — doctors appointments, prescriptions, the school paperwork — but he knows when the kids last pooped, when they’re going to nap, and somehow does more of their laundry than I do.
Financially, we would never have survived entrepreneurship without him. His mom is an accountant. He was playing in the stock market at twelve. That discipline and understanding of money that he was raised with is the only reason I had the freedom to take risks in business. Without that foundation, the idea of running multiple companies would’ve stayed a dream.
He also always feeds me.
That sounds silly, but it’s not. He knows when my blood sugar drops, I become a useless, emotional liability. So no matter where we are, he makes sure I’m fed and watered like a feral houseplant. That’s love.
He’s not perfect. He leaves piles of dirty laundry on his side of the bed and when he’s sleep deprived, nobody is safe. But he is the yin to my yang in all the ways that actually matter.
Most importantly:
He never annoys me.
The idea of traveling with him literally anywhere — short of a war zone — makes me think, yeah, that would be a fine time.
That’s how I knew.
And that’s the energy I now require from everyone in my business.
Business Is Mostly Reversible — People Are Not
Here’s the wild part about entrepreneurship:
Almost nothing in business is permanent.
You can:
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dissolve a company
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fire a partner
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drop a product line
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rebrand
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move locations
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change vendors
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pivot your entire model
I genuinely can’t think of a single business decision that cannot be undone.
Except one.
Your reputation.
In the digital age, your behavior follows you forever.
Your work follows you forever.
The people you associate with follow you forever.
If you walk through your business life surrounded by the wrong people — bad partners, unethical vendors, sloppy collaborators — that association will stick to you long after the contracts are gone.
You can change your logo.
You cannot outrun your reputation.
What Vendors Taught Me About Choosing People
It took me far too long to learn this:
Nine out of ten vendors are functionally identical.
Accountants.
Lawyers.
Payroll providers.
Social media managers.
Bookkeepers.
CRM platforms.
Invoicing systems.
The services are the same.
The software is often the same.
The pricing is usually the same.
What is not the same is the relationship.
When something goes wrong — and it always does — what matters is:
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Do they answer the phone?
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Are they in my time zone?
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Are they kind?
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Can I relate to them?
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Do I dread calling them?
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Will they respond to a text?
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How fast do they handle tickets?
That’s the real product.
I learned this the hard way with my payroll provider.
She was the kindest human alive.
Responded instantly.
Wrote long, detailed emails.
Went above and beyond.
She was also… not great at payroll.
She didn’t know the system well.
It clearly wasn’t her passion.
But I stayed for three years because she made my life emotionally easier.
Eventually she sold her book of business.
Her replacement is wildly more competent.
Far less warm.
Is not afraid to say, “I cannot legally advise you on that."
But he is solid.
And reliable.
And my payroll is correct.
That’s business.
My New Non-Negotiables
Today, my rules are simple.
For Vendors
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I must know them in person.
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I must like them personally.
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They must be in my time zone.
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I must be able to have coffee with them.
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I must not dread contacting them.
If working with you adds stress to my life, I’m out.
I don’t want to wait for the West Coast to wake up.
I don’t want to navigate international holidays.
I don’t want to wonder if you’re on a plane without internet.
My business is already hard.
My relationships should make it easier.
For Collaborators
The longer you’re in business, the easier it is to spot the phonies.
Do they have real clients?
Do they understand my business?
Are they interested in collaboration — or just closing me?
I don’t want to be sold to every time I interact with you.
I want relationships that exist even when no money changes hands.
The Advice I’d Give My Younger Entrepreneur Self
If I could go back, here’s what I’d tell myself:
You might be right.
But keep looking.
Stay curious.
Ask more questions.
Ask your customers about their lives.
Ask strangers what they think of your business.
Poll random audiences.
There is so much wisdom in large numbers of people.
Listen when people talk about their friends.
Their colleagues.
Their problems.
They are accidentally describing your future customers.
When something feels too good to be true, don’t buy it immediately.
Sit on it.
Chew on it.
If it still feels good in a week, then pull the trigger.
And remember:
Most people you meet in small business are not trying to network with you.
They are trying to sell you something.
Engage accordingly.
The Real Parallel Between Marriage and Business
Choosing your spouse is not about perfection.
It’s about alignment.
Choosing your business people is the same.
Do their values match yours?
Do their habits support your goals?
Do they make your life calmer or louder?
The wrong people will cost you years.
The right people will save you decades.
That’s the real flex.
What I Want You to Walk Away With
If you’re new to entrepreneurship…
If you’re choosing partners…
If you’re building something fragile and sacred…
Slow down.
You are not behind.
You are not desperate.
You do not need the first solution that appears.
Be patient.
Be selective.
Choose people like your future depends on it.
Because it does.
And someday you’ll look around at the life you’ve built and think:
Yeah… I chose right.